Come on baby, give me one last look.

Sometimes
I think about not going to sleep for months at a time
Sometimes
I think about all of the things I could accomplish
If I didn't do ____
Fill in the blank.

Sometimes I want
Specific people
To read this blog

When I know most of those people
Are probably unaware it exists.

I'm really trying to not go to sleep tonight
There's so much I could be doing

Sometimes
I turn on my fan too high
So paper and wrappers
From junk food
Blow around in my room
And I have to turn up my speakers
On my computer
Just to over-play a cover of a Bruce Springsteen song

Too loud

So they pop, making my need
For a new computer grow
More than it should

Computers.
Gah.

I just.
Don't.
Want to leave Chicago.
It's not even like this is the best place there is
It's not as if I could see myself
Living here
Forever
It's just it'd be so nice
To stay put for a little while.

Sometimes
Over a period of 16 hours or so
I listen to a song 73 times in a row.
Like
I just did.
And by the time I finish this letter
... at 1 or so
Hopefully it'll be closer to 90

And then I can say
In less than 24 hours
I listened to a song 90 times

I should write that somewhere
Somewhere on my bedroom wall
In cheap lipstick
So it would be
Nearly impossible to remove

Sometimes I miss old parts of my life
Old places I used to hang out
Old people I'll never see again
and I don't know what to do

Sometimes
I pretend I've got it all figured out
I say where I'm from
I say where I'm at
I say where I'm going
And then I don't say anything else
And people eat that shit up
They believe it.

Sometimes I realize
The stuff I write on here
Is probably a little too personal
And if the people that I wish would read it
Actually did read it
They might be a little offended

Or confused

Sometimes
I don't let myself get close enough to people
Because I hate saying goodbye
Because I deleted my Facebook
So now
Goodbye
Might really mean forever.

"I am nothing but tired
I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby
I could use just a little help
You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a
Spark"

Sometimes
I care about the wrong people
I talk to the wrong people
I don't say the right things

I write dumb poems on a blog no one reads

And somehow
Some one is telling me
It'll all be okay
Hey, I got done at 12:50
10 minutes early
But I only listened to the song
81 times

So for now,
My walls stay white.
We'll see each other before you know it