Saying Goodbye

I have one week left.
One.
Week.
Left.

To say goodbye

If I could do it all over, I would.
In a second

I'd accept that my best friends back home
Don't have to be my only friends

I'd accept that
I might meet some people that really like me
That might want to be my friends

If I could have only given them a chance

As I sit here and write this
I think about how initially
I wanted to be anywhere but here,

So,
I consider staying
I consider throwing away all my plans.
I think about it so hard
That I forget that even if I stayed,
Nothing would stay the same.

Nothing ever stays the same

People move on with their lives
They move to different cities
Move to different schools
Make new friends
Get new jobs

Change.

And yet, I know saying goodbye
Isn't going to be as easy as I would have
Thought it to be

So I'm going to say it a week early.
Tonight.
To save me from the feelings I would have otherwise felt
I'm going to say it right now
Right this very second.
I'm ready....

Shit.
I can't do it.
Get back to me in a week.