That Green Vase

Remember that green vase?
You know, the one that was always on the top shelf
Of that cupboard you had to go to,
To get the bowls made specifically for cereal?

I kind of want it.
Not to do anything normal with
Like put flowers in it, or leaves
Or crumpled up pieces of paper with your name on it

But put it in some elderly couple’s lawn
An elderly couple that hired shitty lawn service
So the 7th grader who got a summer job cutting their grass
Wouldn’t come that often
Their grass would be so tall that if you stuck the vase
In the middle of the lawn,
It’d cover it up completely.
Then when that stupid lawn boy comes, he’ll run it over
And cut his leg, or break the lawnmower or something.

That’d be a story to tell the grandkids.

Maybe I’d take it to the Antique Road Show
It’s got to be at least 30 years old by now
That’s an antique, right?

I’d probably get on TV
They’d ask me how much I thought it was
I’d say $50,000 and they’d chuckle to themselves
And tell me, “No no no no no, $25”
It’d probably less than $25… maybe 24

If it was at an antique store it’d probably be on the
“Free Crap” shelf
Maybe it’d say “shit” instead of “crap”

No one would buy it
Until I searched through all the antique stores in town
And I found it
And finally it’d be put in that young couple’s lawn
Where it belongs.

I don’t think I ever saw it outside that cupboard
In your house
In the kitchen
Right above those soup bowls
Or were they cereal bowls?
I can’t remember anymore

Besides that one time.

I was at a party you were having
When your parents were out of town
And I asked you why it was out of the cupboard
And you didn’t answer
And the next morning we woke up
And some kid put some beer and a few popcorn kernels in it.
I personally thought it was ingenious,
It finally was getting used for something important,
But I remember you were pretty pissed about it
You cleaned it
For at least an hour
More like ten minutes
Actually, I think I was the one that cleaned it.

You never told me why you took it out
You probably wanted someone to take it
And break it
And make it into an art piece or something stupid like that

If I ever find that vase
That used to be in your closet
With the Christmas decorations
That's where your dad put it, right?
I’m not sure what I’d do
Probably not put it in that farmer’s field
For a tractor to destroy as he made hay
Or harvested corn

Maybe I’d put it in my house
And after a couple years
Take it out of wherever I stored it
And put a couple flowers in it

If you came by, I wonder if you’d recognize it
Outside your house
Without wine in it
Or whatever that red head put in it
At that party you had
In the summer of our junior year

Maybe I’d take it out
At my son’s 5th birthday
And stick a rock tied to balloons filled with helium in it
One if his friends would probably grab it
And break it.
Maybe it’d have to be at his 3rd birthday
Maybe it’d be at my daughters
Or the baby shower I was throwing

What if the kid I get
Isn’t a baby
Can I still throw a baby shower?
I just want free crap from my friends
Hopefully not that stupid vase
But with my luck someone would have found it by then
And thought it was a great gift

An antique
Worth more than $25

I wonder if you’d be there
And notice it
Outside of your house
Outside of your cupboad
Right above those bowls
Made specifically for cereal

Do you remember that green vase
At all?