Skyping with my friend Hannah

"Hi, I said"
"Hey, boo" she whispered
I giggled and she clapped her hands

First I got my shit out
And then I lost my mind

"How are you doing?" she asked
"Well" I said and looked at her kindly
"I'm doing just fine my dear
Just fine"

She giggled to HERSELF and said
"O-M-F-G The awark for best lie
In an animated motion pictures goes TO:

Jared Monroe

"I wanna thank all my fans out there
That got me this award and
Especially my friends actually
Yeah, I can't do this speech
Anymore...umm I got there pretty easily
So Thank you all
Everyone
And I will talk to you
Tomorrow night"
You giggled your pants off
And I giggled my nose

I loveya ta pieces
Does it show?

The Things You Dream About Hearing

The decisions I make
Are things you only dream about hearing
From an old TIME magazine article
When Princess Diana was on the cover
And everyone bought a copy
Because everyone loved her

The people I talk to
Are people you only dream about seeing
At a coffee shop
In a small town
With a cute guy at the cash register
Who's known your order since you
Moved there
Six months ago

The friends I make
Are people you only dream about meeting
In an airport
Or a train station
Or somewhere else where
You see a bunch of people
You'll fall in love with
And never see again

Because that's what I do
And that's who I am
And those are the things
You've only dreamt about hearing

I guess

I've decided it's over.
I'm not ready to tell anyone
Besides the one or so people that read this.
But I'm 100% sure
I'm done.
I'm so uninterested
I'm not taking it seriously enough
I need time to think
I need time to figure my life out a little
Before I make a mistake I'll regret forever.
I may end up disappointing
My entire family
And every friend I've ever had
They'll all remember this,
The one person in my family
Who couldn't handle school
The one person
To fail at something so important
The laughing stock
The only one
To be so unsuccessful

I'll probably be back
After everyone I know has already left
I'll meet new people
But it won't matter
The options for love interests
Will probably be slimmer
But it's okay
When you're as lost as me
Who needs someone that knows less about themselves
Than you can imagine.
Maybe I'll write a book.
Publish that shit.
Make around $100 because
Maybe,
Maybe,
10 people will buy it.

I can't believe I'm saying this
I can't believe
I'm about to let everyone down.
I'm sorry everyone,
It just wasn't for me
I'll see you when you can accept
I'm not you
I'll never be you
I'm barely me
I'm dropping out of college,
How many of your hopes
Have I just dashed?

Well...

My whole life depends on how I do
In school
And this semester
And things just aren't
Going the way I want them to go

I don't know what to do
So I deactivated my Facebook
And emailed someone
In charge of the volunteer org I always go through
And asked if I could volunteer next year
I'm worried that I won't be able to
Or I'll end up going to Mid-State
And I won't ever become anything
Or anyone
And no one
Will think it's that big of a deal

I'm freaking out
It's too late to call anyone
And I don't know what to do
I just really
Really
Don't know
What to do

She's a pretty girl

Do you call her a bitch?
She's a pretty girl
Did she sleep with your whole town?
Pretty girl
Pretty girl
Do you hate her
Cause she's pieces of you?

You say he's a faggot
Does it make you want to hurt him?
You say he's a faggot
Do you want to kick in his brain?
You say he's a faggot
Does it make you sick to your stomach?
You say he's a faggot
Are you afraid you're just the same?
Faggot
Faggot
Do you hate him
Cause he's pieces of you?

Dear Humboldt County

I've haven't figured out yet
How I feel about you
I haven't decided whether or not
I regret leaving
I haven't decided whether or not
I regret everything I did there
I haven't decided
If I regret ever moving there

I met some crazy people
I did some crazy things
I fit in
Better than I've fit in anywhere else
But it's not because everyone was so similar to me
It was because
Everyone was so different
That it was impossible not to fit in

I miss some parts of you
I miss some of the people that live within you
I miss the trees
I miss the forest
I miss other things that aren't worth mentioning

I think about you
Nearly every day
How many people that live there
Cared about me at all
How many people
Still consider me their friend

I forgot about Wisconsin
For five months
For awhile
I was convinced I could live there
Forever

You're such an imaginary place
I can't believe
I would have achieved anything living there
I can't imagine
Doing anything with my life
It's hard to think about really

I feel like I've already forgotten
Everything
That happened

You changed me
You made me better
You made me worse

Someday I'll sit down
Maybe in a few years
And finally decide
How I feel about you

Take it easy,
Jared

For You

I decided
I'd do this
Mainly for myself

Partially for everyone
That misses you
More than you could ever imagine

I'm doing it
To cope
To decide how I really feel
To make my feelings known
To everyone

I'm doing this for you