I've been thinking about you...

I've been thinking about you a lot again. Which sucks, sense I'm trying to enjoy myself in California. I've got to meet someone who isn't you. Thanks for the occasional phone call. Thanks for going to rehab for the 5th time... we all know it won't work but it's cool you're using your tribes money to try to convince yourself you're not wasting away your life... even though they somehow own 30 million dollars to Wisconsin. I honestly do miss you. I miss when we used to hang out -- when you didn't call me at awkward times. When I didn't have to drop everything to answer the phone because I never know when or if you'd ever call again. I hope treatment is doing something for you this time. It seems like South Dakota really should have fixed it all. They were everything you needed. It was suppose to work. Weren't you there for three months or something? I think you missed Thanksgiving and Christmas. You wrote me a letter. You said you were doing awesome. I don't want to date you for your life to get better. I want your life to get better because you finally learn from your mistakes. I check out circuit court every once in awhile. I check to see how many warrants are out for your arrest. The ones you "forgot" to mention to me. Like the felony that was dropped because your tribe made them drop it. That was cute. I'm taking a class this semester. I hope it teaches me about you and how you got the way you are. How we destroyed your culture and continue to destroy your people. I feel bad for what happened but why can't you just get the fuck with it and do something with your life.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this letter to you. I know you'll never read it. You probably won't get to use a computer for a month. You told me you were going to be in treatment for a month, right? It was nice you said that, but I know you'll leave after 2 weeks because you're totally better. Or at least that's what you somehow convince yourself is the truth. Ugh. Don't come to California. Please don't. I know you're going to. I know you're going to find some weird ass way to get here. Stopping at every single state on the way to try some new drug you've never heard of before. Fuck that. This city is everything you don't need.

Call me, I guess. I'd like to hear what you think you'll do next. It's no use telling you the truth...