Okay okay okay OKAY

So, here's the deal : I'll sit here. for however long you want me to sit here. So you can tell me what you want to tell me. I know how to write. I know how to read. I'll never know how to juggle 12 magic eight balls. But I'm okay with that. I'm okay never knowing most anything. My plans for my life are simple. Be happy. Meet a great guy. Get married. Adopt some kids. Watch them graduate. Watch them become somebody. Watch them live out my dream. I want to write. And so I will. I won't give up on that. No. Fucking. Way. At Humboldt, no one in the WORLD is going to be me. No one there knows anything about me -- and I'm okay with that. I mean, isn't that why I did this? So I could be normal someday? Okay so no one will know me and that means I'll never meet my husband. That's who I need to meet. Not some stupid boyfriend. I want him to be HIM. I can't fucking wait to see who it turns out to be. I want to write a book. I want to win awards with that book. That's what I'll do forever. Who will care about it? Oh, I know! NOBODY. God. No, but I really do. I think I should. I think I have a story that people need to know. It's important. It'll help someone survive. It will kill others. How can some memoirs tell their whole life story? Think about all the people I'm sure they hurt. When you write "I used to sleep with my highschool's quarterback" everyone in America is just reading that. But some guy. Somewhere. Who was that quarterback. His life is ruined. How do they do that? Obviously they have no facebook. Because you'd just be killed. And if you were that quarterback. I mean,

WTF would you do?

My books going to be about race relations, marriage. children. bombs. and then I fall aslepe Im going to sleeep in this chair like that.

That was embarassing. okay like the last time I wrote a journal entry like this, I emailed my friend Crystal and told her I was falling asleep. Well at that time my hand was falling asleep but now its my butt. I'm kind of sad to leave this story line so soon. But I must. I love you all. Each and everyone. All the time.